Reliable???

The other day a friend of mine was asked "Do you know Candace Webster...is she reliable?" It really got me thinking. Am I? I mean am I REALLY a reliable person? I know I would like to think that I am, but for someone to acutally ask, it made me wonder. I know that when it comes to my family, my job, and my church callings I am fairly certain that I am. But when it comes to PTA, keeping in touch with friends, and doing things that are outside of my comfort zone...I'm not so sure.

I hope (and think) that my husband and children know that they can always count on me. I will do anything for them whenever they need me. There is nothing that can change that. Nothing can stand between me and my kids.

I have always had a good work ethic. I was taught by my parents to make my self a valuable employee and so far, I have done well at that. My boss and co-workers know that I am willing to help out, in any capacity, as long as I am able.

Being the Primary President has really helped me with some of my "comfort zone" issues, but I still have a long way to go. I love teaching the children in our ward and I feel like it is such a huge learning experience for me so I do my very best each week and hopefully it is showing. I want those kids, as well as my kids to know that I am 100% committed to them and my calling.

I am the type of person that likes to do my best and I want people to know that they can count on me. That being said, I don't like to commit to things that I know nothing or little about. Like for example, I told the PTA president that I would be over the reflections program at our elementary school this year, and now I am freaking out because I know NOTHING about it and I don't know anyone that does. I am really wishing that I hadn't said "sure, I would love help!" I have tried to get in touch with someone, anyone ,that may be able to point me in the right direction and have come up empty each time. The reason I am totally bugged about this is because I don't want people to think that I am a flake and that I am UNreliable.

As far as my friends go, I only have a few close friends and 2 of them don't live anywhere nearby. There are so many days that I wish that I had someone go hang out with at the park with my kids, or just go for a coke and visit, but I don't have that and it's OK. I try to keep in touch with them, but I know that sometimes I fall (a lot) short. I treasure my friendships and even though I am not the greatest friend in the world, I do try my best.

I have always been a little uncomfortable going to places or events when I don't know anyone. I am afraid that people are gonna notice that I am all alone and somehow that will convey to them that I am a person not worth meeting. I am getting over this the older I get, but I still get a little nervous and don't speak up when I'm in situations like this. I guess it goes back to when I was a teenager (I moved a lot/went to 3 different high schools) and I wanted people to like me... so I would keep quiet because I didn't want to give them any reason to not like me. Like I said, I'm getting over it, but every now and then...

Sorry to ramble on and on but I just wanted to think out loud for a minute. Deep down, I think that I'm mostly a reliable person...I guess I just need to keep working on it...

Until next time...